I think it's quite good. Maybe a few more details, but very nicely written. I also like how we don't know the gender yet, but I think after you reveal what the embly is about, you should definitely move on to character development. Don't keep us in the dark about the gender too long, but it does make for an interesting first part. You did a good job of hooking the reader too, I'd love to know, why the principal looks so sad.
No comments:
Post a Comment