Why do I feel so lonesome and empty?

You're not stupid. I fell for a similar guy in high school, and it was rough. I kept hoping, kept dreaming that maybe he would ask me out, and he ended up getting a girlfriend. That was the final straw, the hint that I needed to move on, and by then I had shed too many tears and spent too many sleepless nights worrying over him. It happens, but I promise you can get through it. You will just have to take a risk on some guy someday. It's hard, but you will move on someday, I promise. If he's joking about you being in love with him and stuff, he doesn't sound like a very nice guy; you deserve someone that will treat you right. Branch out and meet new people, take a chance here and there, and you will be surprised. Good luck, girl